is one of the strongest people i know. and i mean emotionally, she’s very strong. (next to me, a lot of people are….but anyway). me, i crumble into tears the SECOND things start to go bad….or even the second BEFORE things start to go bad (just in anticipation); but my sister, she’s like a rock.
she keeps cool and she’s able to maintain at least her exterior. it’s one of the things i admire about her because i know just as well as she does that crying would help in many situations. you know, letting things out, letting go, it’s a catharsis of sorts. but she doesn’t and i…well i just can’t help myself.
in that sense, i believe i’m very selfish and my sister is very selfless. in bad situations, she doesn’t let others see exactly how badly she’s feeling so that she’s not a reason for them to worry further. me….i’m always just adding onto everyone’s worries with my puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
BUT ANYWAY, my point is, she’s strong. she doesn’t let things get to her or if she does, she doesn’t SHOW it. so you can imagine, when she does cry, it breaks my heart. because how could something possibly have broken my strong hearted baby sister. when (on the rarest of occasions) i see tears brimming in her eyes, i want to take whatever part of the world has caused it and send it to hell because how dare they bring tears to her stubborn eyes. how dare they push her to that breaking point.
i think it’s when i am at my most maternal, when i see my sister cry. and it sucks because feeling so vehemently about something usually….well it usually makes ME cry.
so in conclusion: if i was ever put to some sort of test where i was asked to fight for my sister or to defend her, i would be a useless heap of tears.
and i hate feeling helpless.