Install Theme
my tumbling space

i think the biggest lesson i’ll learn this year…like really learn and commit to my lifestyle is: beggars can’t be choosers. 

if they try, they end up with even less than what they could have had. 

and in order for this realization to take effect…well the only thing you can do is give yourself a reality check. deflate your big head, a little. and when i say ‘your’ i definitely mean, my own. 

maybe i won’t get what i always thought i’d get. and that’s just a lesson in life, really, when you think about it. you never get what you want. you get what’s best for you at the time. and when God decides what’s in your store….then i mean, you can’t really argue. 

anyway, that’s all for tonight!


it’s september. how’d that happen. for reals?

in a couple days, i’ll be going into my last year (INSHALLAH) of university! just finishing up my last requirements, and can i just say…i’m SHIT SCARED.

all of the courses i’m taking are 400-level fourth year math courses! i’m so so so scared! i feel like right at the last moment, something will go wrong.

one of my friends (very accurately) calls me “debbie downer” or “negative nancy”, and that’s what i am. but i don’t know why i just always have some sort of bad feeling when it comes to things that i’m trying to do. it’s actually a PAIN to be such an extreme pessimist. and i know it’s not right either. my dad always says we shouldn’t jump so far ahead of ourselves right at the first step - good or bad! 

but i do. i just can’t help myself. ah well…i think that’s all i had to ramble on for tonight. my mom has just told me to head to bed, so that is what i shall do now!

goodnight all,

much love


so my best friend’s wedding is over. this was my speech on her shaadi.

Hi! My name is Komal and I’ve been hired by Saima to make a speech at her wedding. So everyone better laugh at the appropriate times, for me to get paid!

For as long as I’ve known her, Saima’s been sort of a Bollywood queen…you could say she’s Bollywood Royalty. So I’ve tried to make incorporate a little bit of that in my speech. Warning: Due to severe cheesiness in Bollywood, there may be severely cheesy parts of my speech!

I’ve known Saima for about a decade now so basically….we are family! I’ve been looking forward to her wedding like I would to my own sister’s! Everyone I know within Ontario, outside Ontario, internationally, and overseas knows that mere yaar ki shaadi hai! But it wasn’t always that way. I didn’t always look forward to the day I would find out that my very best friend was getting married. I thought the day that happened would be the day that our friendship would have ek villain wedged in between it!

But when Saima met Nadeem and she described him to me….well I could never feel so badly about someone if my best friend was so happy with them! I understood at that moment from Saima that when you meet the right person for you, waqai kuch kuch hota hai! And although I am ELATED for her, my happiness is almost split into 2 states. There’s a part of me that also feels sad! Chalo, as Karan Johar says, in life kabhi khushi kabhi gham to hota hi hai. Now that Saima’s getting married, I feel like I’ll be losing a little bit of my friend forever. Dil chahta hai ke somehow, I could go back and relive all the times we had together so that I can solidify them in my memory.

But that’s not possible. Instead I’m going to soak in every last minute tonight and on Sunday as these dilwale dulhania lay jayenge. So at your wedding today, I just want to take this opportunity to say congratulations! And I want to wish you both a happily married life. May this new chapter in your life take you to all the places you want to go and may it give me and your family and everyone else an abundance of little nieces and nephews. And….I guess that’s all I have to say! Congratulations guys! 

" I’m not beautiful. I have a dirty soul. No matter how many times I cleanse myself. I still can feel the dirt of my sins. Ya Rabb, forgive me for what have I done. "

- Allaahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibb al-‘afwa fa’affu ‘anni - Oh Allaah, You are forgiving and You love forgiveness, so forgive me   (via laanat)

(Source: cococoda, via saimerz)

where am I supposed to go? who am I supposed to talk to about this? sometimes in life there are moments where you feel so alone.

and it’s not like I don’t know that there are many doors open for me to walk through….but honestly maybe it’s just easier to go through this alone and without involving anyone.

no one cares and no one is listening.

or else I’m just becoming a cynic.


10 Mesmerizing Buildings of Lahore.

Lahore is the capital of the Pakistani province of Punjab and the second largest and metropolitan city in the country. It is the largest native Punjabi-populated city in the world and an important historical centre of South Asia. With a rich history dating back over a millennium, Lahore is a main cultural centre of Punjab and Pakistan. Below is the list of 10 mesmerizing buildings of Lahore.

Lahore Fort.
Lahore Museum.
Badshahi Mosque.
Government College.
Wazir Khan Mosque.
Jinnah Library.
Cricket Club Bagh-e-Jinnah.
Railway Station.
Minar-e- Pakistan.
National Collage of Arts.

Next time I go to Pakistan, I would like to visit all of these places.

(via a-pakistaniaffair)

pardon the paindu, but…

this post may contain a lot of urdu! 

and also, bare with me while i rant. you know something that i find absolutely zeher? ke jab koi kissi ko acha kahe yah phir compliment de, aur uske liye wo “chamcha” ban jaye.

why, why can’t i just say something nice or be nice to someone, without being labelled a suck-up? is it so hard to imagine that when one is giving a compliment that it is not with some ulterior motive in mind, but because they want to be nice?

anyway, it just really annoys me sometimes

and that is all. 

good night!


these sheets,

bathed in my tears tonight,

the soars,

left underneath my eyes,

the blur of the world,

and the start of the rain,

coincide on my face tonight,

making rivers and streams down contours,

pushing past and forward and further down still,

this salted water,

going further down,

to bathe once more,

my sheets tonight,

this tenuous connect between water and sheet,

this finite stain left in existence,

all these are marks where sadness sets sail,

all these are marks of night time devastation,

all these are marks of a warring heart.  

so ramzan has begun and once again, Allah has blessed us all with the opportunity to be around for all the blessings it brings. and with ramzan came the beginning of my summer job as well! i thought for sure this summer i wasn’t going to get anything, but of course i continued to apply, albeit half-heartedly, and lo and behold, it happened! 

and in hindsight, it could not have happened at a better time….because this way i got to spend all the beginning of the summer enjoying myself at home and now during ramzan i have something to distract me from being hungry and stuff! so alhumdulillah everything worked out! 

i love experiencing the moment when you realize that God really did have a better plan for you. because no matter how long it takes, you can be sure that if your immediate prayers arenn’t answered, nor wishes granted, then there’s a reason for it. 

but anyway, aside from that, with ramzan of course, comes also the iftaris! we had the first one at our house on the first rosa of the month and now we’re spending the rest of the month going to a whole bunch of others! which is awesome. it’s great that we get to see family and friends so much more in ramzan and in an atmosphere of mutual ibadah just makes it all the better. 

and after ramzan the month of august is JAM PACKED! with what, you may ask? WEDDINGS. 


this august there’s not 1,

not 2,

not 3,

not 4,

but FIVE different weddings that are happening! unfortunately it looks like i won’t be able to go to one of them, but still 4 weddings are already a crazy amount!

but to be honest, there’s one that shines out as the most important one. and it’s the wedding of (the person who i consider to be) my best friend. she’s getting married this year - and i know i’ve mentioned this here before but let’s be real, i’m not going to stop mentioning it at least until the wedding is over….and maybe not even after then :p

and other than that, one of my other REALLY CLOSE friends is also getting married! hers was supposed to be in december, but is now switched to august which is amazing! so much dressing up to do this summer, it’s ridiculous!

AND OF COURSE, between the weddings and the rest of ramzan is my favourite holiday: EID-UL-FITR :)

inshallah this eid we will have the family over and at the end of the night we hope to do fireworks (for the first time ever!)! HOPEFULLY it won’t rain on eid. 

and i guess that’s all i’ve got….this post is just really an update on how my life is coming along. although with all this excitement coming just from this summer, i’m afraid everything afterwards won’t be so exciting anymore! but it should be because this september, i will be starting my LAST year in university (it’s taken me LONG ENOUGH - i know) INSHALLAH! so that’s really exciting. 

and at first i thought (and sometimes still think) that i won’t go to my convocation, but the more i think about it the more i realize….it’s a once in MY lifetime sort of thing! i know i’ll regret not going - so most likely i’ll go! and also, i realize i want to go because i have a sincerely great appreciation for my school. it wasn’t the place i started out in, but honestly, i love it very much. and so i’ll go, because not going would be an insult to this great institution that educated (or tried to educate) me. 

but anyway, convocation is still a far away thought. i shouldn’t count my eggs before they hatch, as the saying goes, haha! i mean, who knows [WARNING: morbid thought coming up] if i’ll even live to see the day! there’s really no guarantee of life, but we plan and plan and plan as if we’re invincible and will continue to live on and see our plans come to life. 

and on that note, i’m going to end my post :) this has been a good dumping of my general mindset/mood/thoughts these days! 

much love!

-komal :)

in the heat of these days, it’s hard to imagine that earlier this year we had an ice storm worse than i have ever seen before! it’s even hard to recall how in the WORLD we survived those FIVE FULL DAYS in our house without electricity! 

at the time it was the biggest thing happening in our life. but just like with everything else, as time moved forward, other things took place of that one event and now…as i look back at the pictures, all i can really remember is the amazing beauty that the storm brought with it! 

isn’t that crazy?! what yesterday was the very main crisis of mine and my family’s existence, today i just look at and think of the beauty of nature from it! 

time is the greatest magician of all. let yourself be wowed by it…..time will not disappoint.