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my tumbling space

as far as fictional (tv) characters go….

so i’ve been watching the mentalist lately and let me just say: i’m in love with simon baker, but more importantly patrick jane. 

and i love the show too - probably because it’s just like sherlock except a lot more frequent! :p 

anyway, i was thinking about it and i realized how much i absolutely LOVE that the creators of this show didn’t make patrick jane a strong alpha male figure. he’s crazy intelligent (d’uhh he’s a mentalist) and almost always right about everything and sometimes cocky….but he’s also a HUGE wuss. he doesn’t handle guns, he’s the first to duck when he sees danger, he calls his LADY boss for help every single time, and in general he’s not the type to stand and face his fear. 

and also he’s genuine. sure he mocks and acts condescending when he’s solving the murders, but he’s a genuine human being (fictional character, i know, i know) who still knows how to express his feelings from time to time. 

and i just think that the way this character is made to show his extreme strengths but also his weaknesses (especially as a male) is….(the only word that’s coming to my head is) admirable. i like that he can be completely himself and not worry about judgement from anyone. it’s so…..weird and cool! 

and i guess, as far as drawing conclusions from this goes, i think i find that quality (self-assuredness to the point where one’s flaws are out in the open) extremely attractive. 

and that is all for tonight. 

much love!

-k

late night horror stories

so i just came out of the shower and when i came back into my (carpeted) room, i bent my head and did the towel swat thing you do with your hair to dry it. 

and as i was looking down, i saw a little piece of fuzz lying on the ground (my cloth on my chair has ripped and so occasionally i find bits of foam fuzz from the rip on the floor) so i went to pick it up and throw it out. it was kind of a different colour from the mustard-ish chair foam but i just assumed it was discoloured by dust or whatever. 

i bent to pick it up and almost did until IT MOVED. 

IT FUCKING MOVED. 

BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A FUZZ FROM MY CHAIR. IT WAS A SPIDER. 

my heart started beating really fast and i grabbed a tissue and threw it into the garbage - but now i’m unsure if it was dead in the tissue or not. all night i’m going to think the spider will come out of the garbage back to camouflage on my carpet and it’ll be waiting for me. or worse it’ll crawl up my legs when i’m sleeping.

and to make it worse - i told my roommate about it and she told me how she once saw one on the CEILING OF HER ROOM. WHAT IF THEY LIVE IN THE HEATING DUCTS OMG LIKE WTF. 

and i know it’s a frigging ridiculous thing for a grown ass girl to be afraid of a spider but STFU IT’S 4:30 IN THE MORNING AND MY HEART WON’T SETTLE AND THE SPIDER WILL COME AND HAUNT ME TONIGHT OMG. 

i had a giant iced tea this morning. and so naturally now, my study schedule has become: occasional study breaks in between washroom visits. 

my bladder is the size of a pea. (exaggeration but not really….let’s be real.)

word of the day

proc·tor

/präktər

noun

1. a glorified washroom escort for students writing exams

 verb

1. the act of finding many useless things to do in a span of multiple hours without any entertainment

2. the act of reminding oneself that the money is indeed worth it - it is, it is, it is!

There’s a fine line between sending someone snapchats to talk to them/let them know about your day and just getting carried away taking a million selfies and saving them all on your phone.

A VERY fine line.

And that line happens to be shaped like the “save picture” button in the snapchat app.

True story.

I’m going to be quiet. Because I’m loud….like really loud. And I think to have some sort of normalcy in your life, but also (and more importantly) to be a proper grown up - you need to have developed a decent INSIDE voice.

So yes. I’m going to be quiet.

my mom left tonight to go visit my grandparents and family in pakistan. (may she have a safe flight and trip, ameen!) and while we were at the airport, watching her as she stood through the line to get into the terminal, a couple came up beside us and starting pda’ing it up. 

my sister, my dad, and i were just standing there trying super hard to ignore the pda couple who did a good 5 minutes of just making out right there….and i get it, at an airport when someone’s leaving it’s normal to show affection. but must you make LOUD sucky-kissy noises right in the midst of a whole bunch of people for 5 continuous LONG minutes?! 

IS THAT NECESSARY?! 

IS IT?

today i called my nani (grandma from mother’s side) who lives in pakistan. and we talked after a very long time, actually. i haven’t been keeping up - i guess there’s really no excuse for it. 

we talked about the weather and how a couple of my aunts are a bit sick (cough, flu, cold, etc) these days and how she’s worried. and she told me she’s worried about everyone. and she told me she was just watching tv, because all day she doesn’t have much to do, so she watches tv and my nana watches tv with her. 

they’re two elderly people who, for the record, have 6 children (5 girls, 1 boy) who are living all alone in pakistan. and i’m sad. i don’t want them to be alone. i want to be with them. so at least they can have someone to ask for favours. so at least they can have someone who will help them out when they just want to be lazy. 

it’s not fair that they’re alone in their home in pakistan. of course they have maids and stuff (as most of everyone does in pakistan) who come to cook and clean, but it broke my heart when my nani told me she gets bored. 

i just miss them so much. i want to be with my nani and nana. sometimes i think i’m closer with them then i am with my own parents! which is ridiculous, but there you have it. 

may Allah give my nani and nana a long and happy and safe and fun life ahead of them. may my nani and nana not have to worry about anything in their life anymore. may their golden years be just that - golden in every single aspect. 

ameen. 

have you ever found yourself following some random stream of thought that your mind is taking you through and then all of a sudden you come upon a really embarrassing memory of your past?

and you’re just like….wtf. what is this new circle of hell that i’ve been put into - remembering a time in my life where i did something super stupid and embarrassing. 

and you just have to let the memory pass and the whole time curse yourself because how are you a functioning human being still when there are so many moments in your life that the earth SHOULD have opened up and swallowed you whole. 

john calling out sherlock on his shit

john: so
sherlock: so
john: what was that all about the rabbit?
sherlock: [smirks and puts up collar]
john: oh, hah, please, can we not do this, this time?
sherlock: do what?
john: you, being all, mysterious with your...cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool
sherlock: i don't do that!
john: yeaah, you do